Coping With Chaos

Things seems so out of control these days. How are you coping?

Most of us have lost control over many of the things we took for granted. Our employment, our family and some of our simple freedoms.

I am the type of person that always had a plan B, just In case. In case of what? A pandemic? Well that is kind of crazy, or so I thought. Its not so far fetched anymore.

This is certainly where I have been blessed to have had a plan B.

You see, the pandemic with its associated forced isolation, caused my PTSD to spiral out of control. It was undiagnosed at the time. The signs were there but, being a firefighter, it was considered part of the job.

Unknown to me, I had been coping for quite some time effectively. Hitting the gym after being up all night with your third cardiac arrest and your second multi alarm fire of the shift. I would hit the gym, hard. I worked myself to exhaustion so that I could catch some sort of sleep without Visions and dreams haunting me. I left it all in the gym. To me, it was better than hitting the liquor with the boys for breakfast.

I coped with the chaos everyday. In an odd way, the more I sweat, the more fear and guilt I got rid of. The abnormal became my normal. It was my life.

My World